When You’ve Been on Autopilot: Boundaries, Burnout & Losing Yourself

EPISODE 2 When You've Been on Autopilot: Boundaries, Burnout and Losing Yourself

What if you woke up one day and realized you had been living your life on autopilot — going through the motions but completely disconnected from yourself? In this raw and honest episode, Nakeisha opens up about working two jobs, going to school, and losing the first three years of her son's life to the grind. She also shares powerful stories from women who lived the same reality — women who were checking every box but had completely lost themselves in the process.

If you're a mother, a working woman, or someone who has sacrificed herself piece by piece for everyone else — this one will hit home.

What you'll take away:

• How to recognize the signs that you've been running on autopilot
• Why boundaries are not selfish — they are survival
• How to start finding yourself again without burning everything down

This episode pairs with Activate You — the book that helps you wake up, reclaim your identity and step back into the woman you were always meant to be. Grab your copy here: https://bit.ly/3OwwtAa

If this episode spoke to you and you’re ready to go deeper…
my book The Freedom Blueprint: For Women Ready to Leave Survival Mode is your next step.

It’s for the woman who is done surviving and ready to live with alignment, clarity, and purpose.

📖 Get your copy here:
https://bit.ly/4lLPKtA

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Welcome to Activate Your Freedom with Nakisha Geddes, a space for women who are ready to move beyond survival mode into clarity, structure, and intentional living. I'm Nikisha Geddes, entrepreneur, author, speaker, and someone who understands what it means to carry many roles while still hearing the deeper call to become. Here we have honest conversation about healing, identity, leadership, faith, business, and the practical shift required to build a life that truly aligns with who you are becoming. If you know there are more for you than just simple managing life, then this is the space for you. Let's begin. And thank you. I promise you, I'm gonna take you on a beautiful journey. I am gonna be truthful, I'm gonna be transparent, and like honestly, it's about time we have this real conversation. So, this episode, I'm actually recording it in my car. And the reason why I'm recording this in my car is because I just had a conversation with a lady, and I didn't want it to, how would I say, I didn't want to lose the momentum of the conversation. So this conversation was about someone that was having a lot of health challenges, and one of the things that we were celebrating was our in our health condition has improved a lot. And the main reason for the improvement in her health condition was the boundaries she set at home. The boundaries that she set with her loved ones. And I want you guys to think about that. A lot of times we're just going through the motion, and the stress that we are enduring is because we haven't learned how to set boundaries. She said one key thing that stick to me like a sore thumb. And it was that the last 10 years of my life, I don't remember. It was like I was on autopilot. There were times that I was driving and I got to the location, and I have to ask myself, how did I get here? Did I run a red light? Because I have no clue. And honestly, that was me many years ago. And when she said that, I went back to the old me. And that old me that was always on autopilot, I was experiencing the same thing. I was just going through the motion. I have my my youngest son is 16 years old. And I'm gonna be very honest and transparent to you. The first, I'll say three to four years of his life, I don't remember. And this is something that I've always told people. I have no clue. I gave birth to this child, and I don't remember 90% of the first three years of his life. Why? I was busy going to school, I was busy working two jobs, I was busy being a mom, a wife, a caregiver. I was busy doing so much for everyone. I got lost in that motion. And to be honest, the shift, my shift started when I had my daughter. And why that shift happened was because my daughter, she's now 13, she demanded so much of me, more than my boys. My boys never demanded my attention as much as my daughter did. My daughter didn't like anyone. She would cry and she would cry and she would cry. And because of that, I had to, I'll say, out of all my children, this is the one child I could say that I cared for the most by myself without much assistance because she demanded so much of me. Right. And because of her, I knew that something had to change. Because of her, I knew that I couldn't continue on the journey that I was going on. Because of her, I knew that I had to make that shift and be more present in my children's life. And I know a lot of us could relate to this because we're so busy providing for our family that we're actually absent. And the provision that we're given to them, we're the ones that want to give that to them. They're not requiring that from us. All they want is their love and attention. And they're really, really okay with whatever provision we're able to give to them. Right? And this is where us women, we are so good at operating an autopilot. We're so good in operating in that survival mode. We're so good at just serving and being everything for everyone to the point where we lose ourselves. We have no idea who we are, we have no identity outside of the roles that we play. And I want you guys to listen to this podcast and really do a self-reflection. Is the life that I'm currently living aligned with the woman that I'm becoming or the woman that I want to become? Do you know who you want to become? That's even another question. I remember asking myself that. I remember being at a place in my life where I had to ask myself, is this it? I have 20-something years to retirement. And is this it? And when I think about if this was it, how sad my life was going to be. And that's when I knew I had to change. Something has to give. I have to give up something in order to gain myself. And truth is, I did give up a lot. I gave up the woman I used to be. I gave up the woman that was a people pleaser. I gave up the woman that said yes to everyone and no to myself. And recently, I realized how much I've improved. And I remember coming home from work, I was tired. And my daughter came down and she's like, Mom, what are we having for dinner? And when I told you, I was exhausted. And she said, Mom, what are we having for dinner? And I'm like, Whatever you make, baby. And she said, Mom, but mom, could you make me some corned beef and rice? And I looked at her and I said, Baby, mommy, do not have the energy for that right now. However, tomorrow I'll make you fried chicken and rice. And she said, But mom, what am I gonna eat today? And I looked at her and I said, Baby, I'm gonna go upstairs. I'm gonna shower and I'm going to go to bed. Because what I need right now is rest. And what mommy needs you to do is to go and make yourself something to eat. And tomorrow I'll ensure that you get a really good meal. Guess what? I went upstairs, went in the shower, and by the time I went to bed, she was downstairs making corned beef and rice with her cousin. And I had to reflect on that experience because I'm like, look at that. My cup was empty. And she was asking me to serve her from an empty cup. The old me would have find just a little drip of energy, just a little drip of coffee, a little drip of tea, and give to her. But you know what that little drip was gonna do? It was going to stress me out to the point where I don't know. Maybe I would, you know, there's so much thing that could happen when we're pushing beyond our limit. A lot of people have strokes, a lot of people have heart attack, right? And it just shows that sometimes we need to say no to the ones that we love so we could say yes to ourselves. Because guess what? They'll be okay. They're so used to us giving, giving, and saying yes to them, right? To the point where they don't know how to survive without us. And we need to teach them that we need to serve ourselves as well. You know, and that experience showed me that all we have to say is no, and full our cup. And guess what? My cup was full the next day, and I got up and I made fried chicken, rice, and peas, and salad, and the entire family was happy because what my cup was full. I was able to serve from it my overflow, and I want you guys to reflect on who you are right now, on how are you serving the ones that you love? Are you serving from an empty cup? Or are you serving from your overflow? And if you're serving from an empty cup, what are the boundaries we need to set for ourselves? Who do we need to start saying no to? What do we need to start saying now no to? And how can we start full in our cup? Because I promise you, our family, our loved ones, and those we serve will benefit more from an overflow, from our overflow, than the empty cup that we're serving from. So I hope this message touches your heart. And please like and share, and look out for episode three. Thank you. Bye. Before we close, I want to leave you with this. Just because you've learned how to function doesn't mean you have to stay there. Freedom starts with awareness, with honesty, with choosing to listen to yourself in a deeper way. If this episode spoke to you, don't keep it to yourself. Share it with someone who needs it. And if you're ready to go deeper, make sure you follow the podcast so you don't miss what's next. This is Activate Your Freedom, and your next level starts with you.