You're Not Confused — You're Avoiding a Decision

You've been telling yourself you don't know what to do. But what if the real truth is — you already know, you just don't like what the decision requires of you?

In this episode, Nakeisha gets honest about one of the most common ways women keep themselves stuck — hiding behind confusion to avoid the discomfort of choosing. Because here's what nobody says out loud: staying stuck is a decision too.

If you've been saying "I need more time," "I'm still figuring it out," or "I'm just not sure yet" — this episode was made for you.

We're breaking down the real difference between genuine confusion and avoidance, why clarity actually scares us more than confusion does, and the one question that will cut through all the noise and show you exactly what you already know.

By the end of this episode you'll walk away with one powerful prompt that will tell you everything you need to know about the decision you've been avoiding — and the courage to finally stop pretending you don't know.

Because the life you keep thinking about — the one that feels more aligned, more peaceful, more free — is not waiting for you to figure it out. It's waiting for you to decide.

In this episode:

• Why "I don't know" is often fear in disguise
• The difference between confusion and avoidance and how to tell which one you're in
• Why clarity feels more threatening than staying stuck
• The one question to ask yourself that cuts straight to your truth
• Why the life you want lives on the other side of the decision you keep avoiding

This episode pairs with Activate You — the book for the woman who is ready to stop sleepwalking through her life and finally step into the version of herself she's been quietly dreaming about. Grab your copy here: https://bit.ly/3OwwtAa

If this episode spoke to you and you’re ready to go deeper…
my book The Freedom Blueprint: For Women Ready to Leave Survival Mode is your next step.

It’s for the woman who is done surviving and ready to live with alignment, clarity, and purpose.

📖 Get your copy here:
https://bit.ly/4lLPKtA

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Welcome to Activate Your Freedom with Nakisha Geddes, a space for women who are ready to move beyond survival mode into clarity, structure, and intentional living. I'm Nikisha Geddes, entrepreneur, author, speaker, and someone who understands what it means to carry many roles while still hearing the deeper call to become. Here we have honest conversation about healing, identity, leadership, faith, business, and the practical shift required to build a life that truly aligns with who you are becoming. If you know there are more for you than just simple managing life, then this is the space for you. Let's begin. Thank you for sharing this space with me. If this is your first time, welcome and please go ahead and listen to all our past episodes. So let's talk about something that most people don't want to admit. You're not confused. You're avoiding a decision. And I know that sounds a little bit direct, but stay with me here. This might be the episode that shifts things for you. You've been telling yourself for way too long now that I don't know what to do, but you really do. I need more time. You know you don't need more time. Just trying to figure things out. Does that sound familiar to you? But if you're honest, you already know. You just don't like the decision that you need to take. Let's break this down because there's a real difference between confusion and avoidance. So confusion sounds like I really don't have enough information. And I'm gonna give an example. I remember when I made a decision that I needed a change. I walked into my workplace one morning and I looked around and I said to myself, this cannot be it. And I was confused because that was the first time I came to that realization that this cannot be it. So I was confused because I didn't have enough information. What's not it? What is what does this mean? Right? I knew I didn't want another job, but I didn't know that I have an option. I was confused. What do I mean? This is not it. I just didn't have enough information at the time. Avoidance sounds like I know what I need to do, but I'm scared to do it. And I'm gonna use myself again as an example. It's just like when I knew I needed more. I knew this wasn't it, and I sat down and I prayed about it and I said, God, show me the way. Now God went and showed me the way and showed me that I needed to start my own business. So I know what it is that I need to do, but I'm scared. I might be scared of what people are gonna say, scared of losing my job and don't have money to pay my bills, scared because what do you mean start a business? What does that look like? You know, and a lot of times we're sitting in I don't know, not because you don't know, but because saying I don't I know means you will have to take action. Because if I really know what to do, why am I not taking action? Right? And it's easier to say I don't know, because we could just continue living this miserable life that we're living. And I'm using the word miserable because I was miserable, and I know some of you are miserable, right? So we chose to stay here because it's easy for us to say, I don't know. And action changes everything. When we choose to take actions, our relationship changes, our environment changes, how we see people changes, and how we see ourselves changes, and that's where the real fear comes. Because if you look inside and admit that you're miserable, that's scary. What do you mean I'm miserable? If you actually start seeing people for who they are and realize that this relationship is no longer serving me, that's scary. Like, what do you mean? This is all I know, right? And a lot of us are there, but let's be real. It's not that you don't have clarity, is that clarity comes with responsibility. Once you admit I've outgrown this job, not happy with this relationship, I need to change my life, or like myself, I need more. Now you have to make a decision. I'm going to stay, or am I going to move? So a lot of times we really know what we need to do, but we choose to stay because of fear of taking action and what that action means, and what does life look like in the uncertain world? Because we're so comfortable in the life that we know. The uncertain world is very, very scary. Like, what if, what if, what if? And a lot of people choose to stay confused because it feels safer than choosing change. Because if I say I don't know, I don't have to take any risk at all. I don't have to fail, I don't have to feel judged, and I don't have to be uncomfortable. I could just sit here, I could retire here, I could raise my family here, I could just get old and wither up and miserable as a senior. And when everybody moves on with their life, guess who's here? Then you're left with yourself. And then you start regretting all the things that you didn't get to do. And guess what you're gonna tell yourself now? I'm too old to start over, I'm too old to do something new. What am I gonna do at this age? Right? And even if you're at that age and you're asking yourself that and you listen to this podcast, let me tell you, you're never too old to live the life that you truly desire. You get to choose. But here's the truth that nobody is saying out loud. Staying stuck is a decision to, let me repeat myself. Staying stuck is a decision to. You avoiding the decision is still a decision. So, how do you recognize what you're avoiding? I want you to ask yourself this question. If I had to decide today, what would I choose? Not what feels safe, not what makes other people comfortable, what would you choose? Because your first answer, that's the truth. Everything after that is fear. Stop negotiating with your future, stop negotiating with your purpose, and please, please, please stop the overthinking. Once you know exactly what you need to do, the next question is to ask yourself, what's my first step and take action? And I want you to really hear this clarity isn't your problem, courage is. You don't need another book, you don't need another sign, you don't need to figure it out anymore. You need to decide and trust yourself enough to follow through. A lot of time we decide, but we don't follow through, and we quit too easy. Life, I was talking to a client today, and we're talking about business, and I know I and one thing that I tell I said business is a valley. You're going up and down and up and down. One minute you're on the mountaintop, the next minute you're on the in the valley. But guess what? You gotta stick with it. You can't give up, you can't have a backup plan. You have to know that the life that I desire needs me to fight for it. So you gotta be willing to fight for the life that you desire, the freedom that you desire. Because the life you keep thinking about, the one that feels more aligned, more peaceful, more free, it's on the other side of the decision you keep avoiding. So here's what I want you to do after this episode. I want you to be quiet. Just find a moment that you could be quiet, no one around, just you, and just start having that conversation. Get inward, get still, concentrate on you and be honest with yourself, and then finish this sentence for me. I've been pretending I don't know, but I actually know that I need to blank blank blank, and whatever comes up, that's your next move. You don't need to be perfect, you just need to start, you just need to take action, and guess what? You will attract exactly what you need to complete the task. But if you never start, what are you gonna attract? Just take that first move, and I promise you, I guarantee you, you will attract the right person, the right decision, the right environment, you will attract exactly what you need to get you to the next level. But you have to take that move, you have to make that move, and if this hits you, if you felt this in your chest, in your stomach, that means you already know what decision you have been avoiding. Thank you for joining me on this episode. If this episode hit you to the core, I would love for you to share it with someone that you think will benefit from this episode. And please, please, please listen to the past episode if you haven't listened to it. And until next time, I'm signing off. I'm the girl Nikisha. Bye. Before we close, I want to leave you with this. Just because you've learned how to function doesn't mean you have to stay there. Freedom starts with awareness, with honesty, with choosing to listen to yourself in a deeper way. If this episode spoke to you, don't keep it to yourself. Share it with someone who needs it. And if you're ready to go deeper, make sure you follow the podcast so you don't miss what's next. This is Activate Your Freedom, and your next level starts with you.